Pick Your Poison

Thanks for coming to “Politics Anonymous” If you are dissatisfied with the presidential candidates so far raise your hand… you in the back stop doing the “raise the roof” thats not cool anymore. Alright, so I realize that I’m mostly speaking for conservative republicans here, but you psycho liberals pay attention too. (FYI, no presidential candidate will be withdrawing our troops from Iraq the day he gets inaugurated… so just give it a rest already.) Anyway, lets move on. Since none of us are happy with the field of presidential candidates lets try to figure out what the heck we are going to do about it. I guess it’s time I said what we are all thinking. Which is better: to vote for the candidate who is best for America or vote for the guy who you know will cause the opposing party to implode politically?

Well lets start with the obvious. If McCain is elected president he will destroy the conservative right wing of the republican party. His position as head of the GOP will enable him to shift the American political paradigm to the left. Suddenly discussions about how to secure the border, how to be fiscally responsible with taxpayer money, and how to ensure civil liberties for our children will cease. McCain stomped all over freedom of speech when he supported campaign finance reform back in 2001. He has supported the Bush wiretapping and domestic spying. If you love the 1^st amendment, you don’t support John McCain.

So we know McCain will destroy the conservative movement within the Republican party. Lets not forget that McCain has also jumped on to the ever more crowded bandwagon that is panic over global warming. I also have evidence that doesn’t technically “exist” he if he were elected he may also attempt to pass legislation that would destroy puppies, laughter, and sunsets, but I cannont “prove” these theories so I will just move on.

If you don’t believe that Hillary will abuse the power of the presidency, regularly throw hissy fits when her bills don’t get passed, and generally make the United States look like it is going through menopause than I know of a Nigerian Prince that needs your help getting his money into our country.

This of course brings us to Obama. Charismatic, determined to negotiate, and determined to make Americans proud of their country again. He preaches in broad terms about change, a new generation, and out with the old. His ability to whip a crowd into a frenzy of support seems reminiscent of the Greek orators from days of old crossed with a Mick Jagger in concert back before he died (and yes, he died back in 1993 of old age and no one told him). I see Obama as an inexperienced, young, candidate who will doubtlessly try and fail to get most of his loony ideas past congress. Hopefully the ensuing debate over his positions on socialized medicine, high taxes, and redistribution of wealth will shed some light on the massive flaws inherent in the ideals that represent the political left.

This is how I see it. One candidate means the end of the right, one candidate means the end of the left… Is it still a hard choice?

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