I Don’t Want no Civil War

I Don’t Want No Civil War

There are an awful lot of things to argue about in America today. The war in Iraq, the Bush Administration, Scooter Libby, the firing of US attorneys, Halliburton, Health Care, Welfare, Crime, Gun Control, Terrorism, France, and Dick Cheyenne’s hunting license. All of these things need to be discussed. Many of the debates I mentioned will be the defining issues of my generation. Nevertheless, I would like to pause, if only for a moment, from the punditry, debate, mud slinging, and hate.

I believe that America is a unified country where and when it counts. That, ironically, is a very debatable statement, but consider this. In the 2000 election before the unifying events of September 11, the Unites States had a bit of an issue with its presidential election. Perhaps it was more than a small issue. The problem was that for weeks no one knew who the most powerful man in the world would be for the next four years. Historically, this would mean civil war. But we didn’t want no Civil War. Each candidate waited for the outcome of ballot counting. Al Gore could have claimed the presidency because he clearly had the popular vote. Good ol’ GW could have claimed power on the basis of the constitution, and the power of the Electoral College. When the dust and the chads settled, and the decision was made to declare Florida for George Bush no one got hurt. (Perhaps Al Gore’s therapist would be the exception to the rule) One of the closest elections in world history was settled with absolutely no blood shed. Historically, this is a unique situation.

So where does this historically unique unity come from? I will attempt to answer that question by listing a few statements with which most Americans would agree.

America is awesome.

America has freed the world from two of the greatest evils it has ever seen: Nazism and Communism. (We also saved the French’s ungrateful little behinds on more than one occasion.) We invented the light bulb, the car, the airplane, and the common worker’s sense of entitlement.

I want to be left alone.

Most Americans do not want the government involved directly in their lives. People want to work a job and keep the money they earn. They want to be able to go where they want, when they want, and how they want. They want to be able to buy a unnecessarily massive SUV (that gets 10 feet to the gallon) and pay an extra $10,000 for the Off Road Package, and then only use it to take their kids to school via paved roads. They want pizza, and lots of it, and they want to be able to turn on the TV without worrying about Rosie O’Donnell’s face assaulting their senses.

Terrorists are bad. (This is obviously something that has come to the forefront since the 2000 election, but it bears mentioning.)

I think this one is safe. If this were September 15^th, 2001 we would all agree that Terrorists are a scum that has infested the earth, and that they should be hunted down and killed one by one no matter how deep the hole that they crawl into. Unfortunately, this spirit has waned over the past six years. Some want to negotiate and listen to terrorists, and many more have lost the anger, indigence, and patriotism that they once had.

I think we have found some common ground. No doubt someone will argue that they don’t agree with one of the statements I made, so my argument is invalid. I doubt that there are any statements which all Americans agree with. I do not really care if you, or your crazy racist aunt disagrees with everyone else. I am simply attempting to remind everyone that most of us agree on most of the important stuff. We have a lot of problems, snafus, hitches, speed bumps, disagreements, quarrels, fights, debates, arguments and conflicts ahead of us. I am looking forward to dealing with both issues on the news and issues that spawn from the depths of my mind. But I hope we have a starting place. Like I always say, “A starting place isn’t the end, but it’s not a half bad place to begin.” (Feel free to quote me on that, but I want credit)